I can't help on this point, as after long years of trying to twist my logic into pretzles as to why God would allow things and not allow others, I finally went athiest.
It's actually a bit freeing to just be kind for the sake of the benefit of others, and not worrying about building some sort of afterlife credit. When I give now, it's to make myself and others happy, and not to bolster my chances of getting into heaven.
In my opinion, religion is a deep seated myth invented by early man as a way of explaining the workings of the world around them, and later exploited by civilization's leaders as a way to keep the masses in line with promises of wealth in the afterlife for those who behave, and damnation for those who disobey. As humanity kept developing, so did religion; going from sacrificing virgins, to sacrificing animals, to sacrificing cash. And don't get me started on how the republican party has been exploiting religion in the past few years. That's a topic for another thread...
My belief is that religion is a tool of comfort and control, and that although prayer is a positive reinforcment for a lot of people's daily lives, it's a placebo, and that humanity's own positive thoughts and actions are in fact the cause of the good things that happen to us, and our collective bad actions that cause the bad stuff. Why did my mom have a heart attack and get cancer? Was it the will of god? No, she ate junk food and took lousy care of herself. It wasn't because she was a bad person, she was a wonderful person that everyone who knew her loved. It had nothing to do with 'devine will', it was the logical conclusion to her lifestyle choices.
Don't get me wrong, I'd LOVE to believe that there was a great purpose to everything, and that it was put in place by a benevolent creator, and that there's a place for us to go after we die. That way of thinking just no longer makes any sense to me, and it's been coming on for a long time. Like I said, I've tried to make it work in my head for too long, and it just doesn't anymore.
Anyway, you wanted other viewpoints...
I'm not trying to convince anyone to stop believing in God. You have questions, and it is good to ask questions. Everytime I try to have discussions like this with religious people, it usually ends with them saying that it's all about "faith" and that the fact that it doesn't seem to make sense is where you have to fill it in with some kind of belief. If you can justify it to your own satisfaction, then more power to you.
Honestly, I actually hope I'm wrong. Even if that means I spend the rest of eternity in hell, at least my mom would still be out there and in a better place. But I won't hedge my bets in order to try to play it safe. That's not being honest with myself. I do appreciate that I was brought up religious, but I think that good moral values can actually be taught without having to resort to the threat of eternal damnation. I believe we as a culture have outgrown the need for religion, but persist in hanging on to it for our own personal agendas, most of which are selfish when you get right down to it.
I hope I made it clear that that I'm merely placing my own views on the table, and that I'm not trying to pass judgment on you guys or tell you how to live your lives. And I hope this doesn't affect our ability to spend time with each other playing board games. I usually like to keep opinions like these to myself, as knowing people's views on things that might differ from your own often color your perception of them, and I'd hate for that to happen. I love all of you guys and really value being able to spend time hanging out and having a good time.